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You Want To Live Like The Doctor, Then Look on.
When we told Dr. Knevil that we were setting up a web shop, selling world domination related products, he threatened us in a Vodka induced state, yelling that he would set fire to Dentures and launch him at us. We ran for our lives. Soon after, we recieved a phonecall from the Doctor saying that more people like him could not be a bad thing. He also added to the end of his message "More fools to enslave, Dentures, put yourself out and then prepare the prison world of Urko for some more guests." We aren't sure whether we were supposed to hear that part. Anyway, the list of products are a guide to what any self respecting Evil Doctor will need. Happy Shopping.
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Underground Lair
What sort of evil genius doesn't have an underground Lair, a sh*t one that's what. Knevil recommends that you invest in a good hole in the ground. Use a reputable mining company, one that doesn't ask questions. £ 1999999999.95 (They don't come cheap.)
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A Clone Army
If you want to take over the world, you're going to need a damn fine army. For a fraction of the cost of setting up your underground lair, you can instal a cloning facility, who better to fall and die for their commander than yourself. Or if you're not comfortable with seeing yourself get hideously dimembered, try some gullable bastard instead. £ 1999999999.90
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Evil Robitic Gnomes
When you're taking over the world, you want people to see a more jovial side to you. What better way to enslave a people than by using an army of robotic garden gnomes. These multipurpose weapons can be upgraded in a number of ways, electronic fishing rods, suicide gnomes that can take out an area the size of the average garden pond and all of them can be controlled from the comfort of your own lair.
£100 (Per Unit)
(upgrades vary from £100.) |
Stenchmen
An underground lair needs looking after, and you can't carry out all your evil bidding singlehandedly. By employing a team of loyal followers that you can treat like scum, you can guarantee that the lair will be kept in full working order.
£? depends on how stingy you are.
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A British Monkey
Do you find it just too stressful getting up in the morning? Going to work? Writing scripts? Making food? Cleaning the stagnant mess from behind the toilet? Doing any other sort of demeaning and undignified task. Well now Knevil has the answer. Call Dr. Zeaus, or raid his laboratory and obtain a genetically altered monkey. Very similar to our very own Urko. Be sure to visit the www.knevil.freewebspace.com catalog page also, to obtain a top of the range monkey beating stick as well. £0 (If you're quick enough not to get caught) |
W.S.M. (Wooden Stick to Monkey) Missiles
Laser guided wooden sticks are also essential to becoming a great world leader. How else will you be able to control your monkey slaves, if you have nothing to beat them at the speed of sound with?!!!!!!!!!! £1999999999999.95 (Alot of money, is a monkey slave army really worth this much fuss?.....Of course it is)
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Super Computer
An underground lair needs a good, sturdy C.P.U. to control the many day to day functions that take place. From firing orbital weapons platforms to feeding the Evil pet, this high tech piece of kit boasts an impressive combination of Intel Inside and Windows 95 O.S. Cost: £100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,001 |
The Message is Clear.......
Looking for a way to escape the crushing inevitability of it all? What better way to relax than to book a short vacation at the Dr. Knevil Indoctrination Facility. The calming, dimly lit corridrs and roaming guards create a truely unique and 'unforgettable' experience that we feel will leave a lasting impression on you. Remember as we say at the Dr Knevil Indoctrination Facility 'Resistance is Futile'. Price: £500.00 per night (Plus additional crippling administrative fees).
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Description of Product
Detailed description of a product. This description could include: Basic information about the line of products and any information that you might use to describe your product. $ 19.95 |
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Description of Product
Detailed description of a product. This description could include: Basic information about the line of products and any information that you might use to describe your product. $ 19.95
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